‘History of the World: Part 1’

Stars: Mel Brooks, Dom DeLuise, Madeline Kahn, Harvey Korman, Cloris Leachman

Rated: R

Released: 1981

What I “know:” It’s Mel Brooks. And as someone who loves “Spaceballs,” I’m excited. I know I could use a few laughs after this week, and last night’s “Saturday Night Live” with Dave Chapelle helped … but I’m ready to laugh at things that don’t even tangentially involve the election. So yeah, what I know is it’s a Mel Brooks movie, and it has to do with history?

What I know after reading the Netflix sleeve: “Mel Brooks’s comic genius is unleashed in spades in this episodic spoof of history’s seminal moments (narrated by Orson Welles), which begins with a brilliant send-up of the cinematic classic “2001: A Space Odyssey.” Brooks goes on to lampoon the Stone Age, the Roman Empire, the Spanish Inquisition and ends with a clever takeoff on the French Revolution.

So two thoughts that may not make this the best movie for me to liveblog, so feel free to abort if you want: 1. Based solely on “Spaceballs” (the only Brooks film I’ve seen) I don’t know how many … takes I’ll have? Just kind of feels like “gag, gag, gag, line of dialogue, gag” which doesn’t really lend itself to me figuring out how things fit together; and 2. I’ve admitted previously I’m not a history person. So some things that are hilarious to others may just go over my head.

Trailer!

2:09: Never mind, first bit had me laughing. Well done, apemen. Nothing says “Settle into your seats for an award-winning classic, moviegoers of 1981” like masturbation.

6:25: This movie is really weird to me. It’s like if a fifth-grader made skits to go with his history textbook. I don’t get it. Bring me Darth Helmet!

8:06: So apparently they learned to speak thanks to a rock falling on someone’s foot? Awesome.

9:13: Does anyone know what Commandments 11-15 were? I feel like I probably have racked up a few more sins I’m not getting credit for.

9:38: I half-smiled at the “V and X Cent Store” for what it’s worth (15 cents).

11:40: Nice cameos by Hugh Hefner and Bea Arthur though. I will never not love Bea Arthur.

13:00: See, the humor is in the language, not the sight gags. “N-v-t-s nuts” made me laugh.

14:00: Man, that Gregory Hines guy sure could dance. Also, the first sight gag hits … and it involves his junk.

19:42: Madeline Kahn was a gift to the world. Only she can make gum-smacking and crudeness work .. my hero.

23:38: I was very hit or miss on Dom DeLuise whenever I’d see him. Sometimes funny, sometimes not. This is … a not? I don’t know. I sometimes go for over the top, but this isn’t it.

33:36: No, seriously, Madeline Kahn was amazing. The whole “pick your escorts for the orgy” bit was awesome.

37:44: I must have missed the whole “Gregory Hines was a funny guy” thing.

38:35: Welllllll the more things change, the more they stay the same, I guess?

42:41: Good ol’ Miracle. Not going to lie, the scene with the whipping made me nauseous, but I’m glad that beautiful horse is about to save these mischievous scamps.

43:11: I hope if I’m ever in a swordfight and all I have are props, that I’ll come up with a line to follow “Goodbye, head!” like “Hello, balls!” and then a swift kick.

45:40: Of course the black man smells “something familiar” and pulls them over to roll the largest blunt in history. Man, the ’80s were a weird time for racial stereotyping. Then again, it was a white guy walking through town with a boombox, I think? So maybe not. I think “Blazing Saddles” is in my queue and I don’t feel like it’s going to have aged well for a first-time viewer.

52:34: The “Who’s on First” thing with Jesus didn’t work for me, but I snorted at him getting in on the Last Supper painting.

52:56: On to the Spanish Inquisition. All I know about it is that no one expects it.

55:24: I started to like this movie once we got to the Roman part and out of the cavemen part, but I’ll be honest … I wish there were more musical numbers. P.S. Go watch “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” on the CW.

No, but seriously. That’s freaking great.

1:12:13: Look, I know it’s kind of Mel Brooks’s thing to push buttons and stuff. But this whole French Revolution segment is making me REALLY uncomfortable. “You don’t put out, he don’t get out” about her father sentenced to death? Gross.

Yeah, that didn’t end well. I’d rank the segments as 1. Spanish Inquisition (I love a musical number); 2. Roman Empire; 3. Stone Age; 4. French Revolution. I’m going to put this well behind “Spaceballs” in my “list” of Brooks movies I’ve seen, but I really enjoyed the middle part, and it was good to just see some weird, joke-filled fun. I needed it.

Next up: “Jurassic Park!”