Stars: Robert Duvall, Tess Harper
Rated: PG
Released: 1983
What I “know”: I have literally never heard of this movie. I like Robert Duvall. That’s it.
What I know after reading the Netflix sleeve: “Alcoholic drifter Mac Sledge comes into the life of a lonely widow and her young son in the barren flatlands of Texas. But when Mac is revealed to be a once-famous country singer, he must face a painful past and an uncertain future.”
Good news: It’s only 92 minutes long!
TRAILER!
00:55: “Hey son, let’s stand out here on the porch and watch/listen as two people violently fight over alcohol in the next hotel room/apartment over. That will be great for your development as a worthwhile human being.” Like, she literally just stands there, looks down at her young kid, then keeps watching/listening as someone gets knocked out. THEN she ushers the kid back inside like “Well, show’s over, kiddo.”
1:54: Wilford Brimley’s in this? Woo hooooooo!
3:37: I have rewound and watched a sentence seven times and I still have no idea what he’s saying. It’s like “How about I just piece a lint for you, Lynn?” and she says, “No.” But I have no idea what he asked her. Why do movies INSIST on playing the intro song over actual dialogue? Ugh.
6:28: Room, meals, AND $2 an hour? In 1983 that’s like way more than minimum wage. That’s a great deal. She’s a terrible business owner.
13:02: I DON’T UNDERSTAND MOVIE TIMELINES. They have not spent any time together, really. They have not dated. They have not kissed. Yet he’s proposing to her out in this garden like “Obviously I totes love you. Marry me?” and she’s like “I’ve thought about it.” What is HAPPENING?
13:55: AND NOW THEY’RE MARRIED. Because the kid is getting bullied at school about having a stepdad. Like, I feel like the wedding/marriage thing is a pretty big plot point if the whole thing is him figuring out his life.
16:28: This reporter is a jacknut. Stop harassing the dude. You offered him the chance to comment, he chose not to, walk away. Don’t yell accusatory things through his screen door.
23:33: This band just learned the truth of “Never meet your heroes.” They were so psyched and he’s like, “I’m done singing. I don’t miss it at all.” *sadface*
26:40: Awww he did go see his ex-wife sing!
27:22: And FINALLY Wilford Brimley is on the screen. Phew. I guess he’s the ex-wife’s … dad? Manager? I don’t know. But he’s running a song Mac wrote to her and maybe she’ll record it!
30:25: Well his ex-wife just ramped that up exponentially. I mean, I get the guy was probably a really crappy husband. Alcoholic, threatening … bad news. But he’s clearly looking good, not slurring, and just wants to see his kid. For her to tell him the girl doesn’t remember him, doesn’t think about him and doesn’t care about him is mean.
34:29: Ah, so “tender mercies” is part of his wife’s nightly prayer. Got it. I’d never heard the term before.
36:23: So poor Mac’s feeling impotent about his life, yells at his wife, and peels out of the parking lot. Dude’s not real great marriage material.
36:49: The “International Cafe & Truck Stop” is a shack on the side of a road with seating for like 20 people. And no parking lot that would hold a rig. I love the “international” part most.
47:27: Mac went from taking his song to his ex-wife, who still sells out little Opry-type places, to his wife just giving it to a wandering group in a murder van and being like, “Nah, Mac won’t mind if you sing this thing he wrote that he was hoping to sell.” Maybe he learned his lesson, because he just told her he didn’t care about that.
50:54: Awww the band took his song to a record company and they want him to sing it! Sweet.
52:52: His daughter came to see him! Man, Ellen Barkin WAS young once.
58:59: Why did he tell his daughter he didn’t remember the song, then start singing it once she was gone?
1:02:13: Ol’ Wilford just wrote a check, signed it, then crumpled it up and threw it on the ground. What the what? Also, I love the surprise of Mac when he finds out his daughter eloped and found out the guy was 30 and thrice divorced. She told you they had to sneak around, that he was in her mom’s band, and that her mom didn’t like him. Did you think he was 18?
1:05:04: OMG that baptism water is funky. Looks like our old pool in our backyard in Ohio roundabout May when we’d open it back up. Just green and gross.
1:08:17: He wasn’t lying. That song is cheesy. “If you’ll just hold the ladder, I’ll climb to the top.”
1:17:41: Oh no! His daughter died in a car accident. Poor plot point daughter. Does seem like a weird time (fewer than 15 minutes to go) in the movie to drop that little nugget.
1:27:52: So wait, I’m just doing the math. She had that kid when she was 17. He’s probably like 8-9 now? I’m terrible with kids’ ages. So she’s 25. Mac is 15 years older than her, so I’m supposed to believe Duvall is only 40 in this movie? I guess he was only 52 when he filmed it, but he looked 52. Still. Also, nice of them to clear up that whole “past family” thing for him so he could toss the football with his stepson and climb back to country music stardom without all that pesky “old family” stuff dragging him down.
I mean, it was a fine movie? Not sure how it ended up on my list. Nothing stands out about it to me, and I’ve never heard it mentioned before. Probably never will again. But at least it was only 90 minutes (which still takes me more than four hours to do for this blog hahah).
Next up: “The English Patient”!