Stars: Ali MacGraw, Ryan O’Neal
Rated: PG
Released: 1970
What I “know”: It’s a love story? And there’s some line in this was called back in “What’s Up, Doc” but I can’t remember what it is. And it’s one my mom recommended, which is why I added it to the list. You guys don’t understand, she hasn’t seen a movie that wasn’t on Lifetime in 10 years … she’s not a movie person.
What I know after reading the Netflix sleeve: “Privileged Harvard jock Oliver Barrett IV (Ryan O’Neal) sparks the anger of his steely, demanding father (Ray Milland) by falling in love with and marrying plebeian Radcliffe student Jennifer Cavalleri (Ali MacGraw), prompting his disapproving family to cut off his inheritance. After graduation, Oliver lands a job with a prominent law firm, and the blissful couple has the world by the tail — until tragedy intervenes.
OK, full disclosure: I was reading the four “not fresh” reviews of “The Big Sick” this morning on Rotten Tomatoes (P.S. Go see “The Big Sick,” seriously) and one of them said “If, in Love Story, Ryan O’Neal had departed Ali MacGraw’s bedside to do a whimsical what’s-the-deal-with-toast routine, it would have been hard to stay invested in their drama.” So I know the tragedy hits her. Also, the start of this description REMINDS me of “The Big Sick” but I guess it’s also a pretty standard issue (parents don’t approve of romantic interest, high jinks ensue) in movies.
Negative points for using “plebeian,” however. Ugh.
TRAILER!
In that screen shot above, she looks a lot like young Angie Harmon.
Pre-title screen on the DVD: “This motion picture has been rated PG for some language and a love scene.” Oh, 1970. You were too pure for this world.
00:52: Well, I guess it’s not really a spoiler when it opens with “What can you say about a 25-year-old girl who died?” How am I supposed to get invested if the whole time I’m watching it, I know she’s a dead woman walking?
2:09: “What makes you so smart?” “I wouldn’t go for coffee with you.” “Well I wouldn’t ask you.” “That’s what makes you stupid.” *fade to coffee being poured.*
3:26: Ugh, she is insufferable. I hope I get to like her at some point so I can care when she dies.
6:39: Hey, it’s Tommy Lee Jones!
7:39: “I think I’m in love with you.” You’ve had one cup of coffee, two walks to her dorm and a hockey game in which you spoke for 30 seconds and she was horrible and you were horrible. What was happening in the ’70s?
9:20: Argh! I knew Ray Milland sounded familiar. He was Tony in “Dial M for Murder!” Blah.
9:56: And Oliver IV just called the Cornell bench “faggots.” Sometimes one forgets how much time has passed and then you hear words thrown around and it’s like “Oh yeah, that was totally fine back then.”
13:57: She just said “The million and oneth time.” Would you say “The million and fiveth time” or “The million and twoth time?” No, you say “Million and first”, you stupid broad. Ugh.
17:34: Thank GOD he finally said something to her. “Look, Cavalleri, I know your game and I’m tired of playing it. You’re the supreme Radcliffe smartass — the best — you put down anything in pants. But verbal volleyball is not my idea of a relationship and if that’s what you think it’s all about, why don’t you just go back to your music walks and good luck.”
21:00: WHY are they bending their books back on themselves? Filthy casuals (I know that’s the wrong usage, but it’s how I feel, so too bad).
26:27: No, Jenny, “Because” is not a good reason when you ask someone why they want to marry you. Especially when they bring it up as soon as you say you have a scholarship to leave the country for a year. That’s controlling. Man, there were no winners in this argument. I mean, I guess him since she forgot all about her future, but he was a complete bonehead throughout.
27:10: His teeny-tiny car with the steering wheel on the wrong side can’t be street legal.
36:33: “If you marry her, I’ll not give you the time of day.” “Father, you don’t know the time of day” *throws napkin on table and storms out like a child*
42:58: Her dad is awesome. He’s all fired up, going to fight for Oliver IV, finds out his daughter doesn’t want a Catholic wedding, doesn’t want a godly wedding at all, doesn’t believe in God, and will speak at her own ceremony and he’s just like “Oh, OK, that’s how things are now.”
49:05: Wait, how do they have a boat? They’re broke and he’s going to Harvard Law.
55:17: Man, Oliver IV goes from 0-100 real quickly. Rips the phone out of her hand, tells her to get out of his life, and she runs out. I’m guessing this is where she gets hit by a car or something.
56:51: I know I say it in every old movie, but it’s crazy to me that you couldn’t just call someone who ran out. I know I lived in those times but I don’t even remember not having at least a pager. He’s running all over town looking for her and there’s no better way to do it.
58:58: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” is stupid. Barbra Streisand was right. What kind of cockamamie stuff is that? He ripped a phone out of your hand and yelled at you for trying to be a better person? He should say sorry every minute for the rest of his life.
1:10:34: Wait, why is the doctor who is like their fertility doctor the one telling him, and not her, that she’s dying? A.) that’s not really his thing and B.) Pretty sure she should find out first? These are some shenanigans.
1:14:20: So hold on, the doctor actually talked to her and LIED? WTF? I am so angry about this I just called my mother (who can’t remember the details of a movie she saw 45+ years ago) to yell about this stupid doctor and how illegal that is and her response was, “It’s just a story.” Truth.
1:19:49: Half the time she looks like Angie Harmon and half the time she looks like Kendall Jenner.
1:21:44: I started crying during the “merry widower” part and I’m crying again when they’re getting hot chocolate. I literally didn’t realize how invested I was, especially after my anger fit at the doctor.
1:36:41: Through a constant stream of tears I type this: I don’t think that’s how cancer works. I don’t think someone goes from being that demonstrative to dead in like 30 minutes.
This was a really weird movie in that I didn’t honestly like anyone in it, but I was still ugly crying by the end. Like REALLY ugly crying. It was a gutpunch out of nowhere, and my concerns about knowing she died at the start were unfounded.
Next up: “Tender Mercies!”